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Things my son needs to know before he grows up to be just like me.
While I’m away: a puberty post from the past
…………… Hello, and thank you for contacting I’ve Become My Parents. We are not available to write a post right now. Your post-reading is important to us. Please stay on the blog and a post will be with you just as soon as one becomes available…. Ding chucka chucka ding dingity ding thwapata bing thwapata […]
Posted in: Things you should know
Human anatomy, the dessert stomach and yaks. Trust me, it’ll make sense when you read it.
February 3, 2013
DINNER n. – the smallest amount of food that must be eaten in order to qualify for dessert. I’m sorry, son, but dinner is a necessary evil if you want dessert. It’s like suffering through Aunt Hattie’s lipstick-kiss before you can open the gift she brought you. Or bathing. Although both of those things only […]
Posted in: I've become my parents, Things you should know
One-liners from the Twittersphere: funny tweets I couldn’t let die
January 29, 2013
Those of you that have been kicking around this place for awhile know that I also waste my time over on Twitter. Twitter started as a way to tell the world what you had for breakfast or what coffee shop you’re sitting in, and other really important stuff like that. Some people still use […]
How Disney made me a liar
January 18, 2013
The floor under the seats of the local movie theater where I grew up was really quite remarkable. Decades of non-diet soda coated the concrete with a thick layer of sweet syrup. It was like flypaper that caught only popcorn and blobs of gum. I know this because I spent a lot of time under […]
Posted in: Cartoons, Things you should know
Because I said so
January 8, 2013
Son, you used to use the word “why” constantly: “Why is the sky blue?” “Why do dogs lick their weewees?” “Why are you sleeping on the couch again?” You had an insatiable curiosity. Now, “Why?” is reserved for use only after I ask you to do something. For example: “Cheeky, please clean your room,” “Why?” […]
Posted in: Things you should know
Why I may never pass on my parental wisdom
December 29, 2012
Son, if you’re going to grow up to be just like me, then you’re destined to be a cynic. You’ll question every motive, assume all facts are suspect until proven otherwise, and treat all salesmen like all they really want is to separate you from your money (Actually, the last one’s not cynicism, that’s just […]
Posted in: Cartoons, Things you should know
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I've become my parents 
February 11, 2013
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