……………
Hello, and thank you for contacting I’ve Become My Parents. We are not available to write a post right now. Your post-reading is important to us. Please stay on the blog and a post will be with you just as soon as one becomes available….
Ding chucka chucka ding dingity ding thwapata bing thwapata bing bing… (sorry, I have no idea how to write cheesy on-hold music)
Thank you for continuing to hold. Your post-reading is important to us. If you would like to try our automated service, please feel free to browse the archives, otherwise please stay on this page and a post will be with you shortly…
Ding chucka chucka ding dingity ding thwapata bing thwapata bing bing…
We are experiencing a higher than usual volume of bull crap. Please remain on the page…
While I’m away, if you’d like to read an older post that most of you will not have seen before, please continue reading…
…………………….
I don’t actually get yanked away from the interwebs all that often, but I am offline at the moment and figured this would be a good time to bring back an older post. Since it was originally posted back when the only subscribers were my mom and some creepy dude who kept trying to sell me Ugg boots, I figure most of you won’t have seen this one. I hope you enjoy it.
Slow down; puberty is overrated anyway
Originally published about a year ago.
I've become my parents 
John Pseudonymous
February 11, 2013
I think I may be the only person who got that Ugg boots reference, but I’m okay with that because I laughed my ass off. I also love the on-hold music. Well played, my friend. Hope things aren’t too nuts and you’re able to join us on the interwebs again soon.
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 4, 2013
Well I’m back on the interwebs. Sorry about your ass. Although gven the right amount of no exercise and a steady diet of ice cream, they do grow back.
lovethebadguy
February 11, 2013
I appreciate the dedication in trying to write on-hold music. I would’ve lazily wrote . 😉
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 4, 2013
I am nothing if not dedicated to meaningless things!
lovethebadguy
March 5, 2013
Woah… Weird… The comment cut off the end of my sentence. A-hem: I would’ve lazily wrote “insert Greensleeves”.
Nonetheless, your enthusiasm in writing meaningless things is awesome!
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 5, 2013
Greensleeves–music that was just meant to someday be on-hold music!
Thanks, BTW, for finishing your sentance. I was a bit confused but I wasn’t judging; I’m known for just trailing off without finishing…my…sen
rebeccaannemarshall
February 11, 2013
Love the on-hold music actually!
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 4, 2013
I’m glad. I thought perhaps I was a little pitchy.
rebeccaannemarshall
March 5, 2013
I’ll be honest… a little you were, yes. But the shinning moments really over-shadowed that for me… I enjoyed it over all!
Ha! Nobutreally, this comment had me needing to re-read the post, and still, very enjoyable!
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 5, 2013
I used to only type on-hold music in the shower but my mom convinced me to try typing it in front of an audience.
Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz)
February 11, 2013
That entire opening section had me rolling. I’ma have to keep this in mind, next time I gots to skip out on a post. Very clever and humorous! 🙂
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 4, 2013
I look forward to being on hold at your blog sometime!
Lane
April 23, 2013
Okay, you win! This was the most entertaining piece I read all day! Simply hilarious. Thank you for making me smile. By the way, would you still be interested in buying those Ugg boots?
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
April 23, 2013
I’m glad it made you smile. I’d be interested in those Uggs, but you don’t seem nearly creepy enough. Thanks, though!