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Things my son needs to know before he grows up to be just like me.
Parenting: a burst of instant joy and a lifetime of delayed gratification
Okay, son, most of this blog is about things you should know in order to avoid becoming your dad. Some of our newer readers are probably asking what’s so wrong with your dad. Nothing, really. I’m bloody perfect. Well, almost. But that doesn’t mean I want you to be me. Certainly there are things about […]
Posted in: Cartoons, Things you should know
What to Expect When You’re Expecting to be a Teenager
April 30, 2013
What we have: What I wish we had: Dad, I don’t want to be thirteen. Why not? I don’t want to be a teenager. Really? I thought that’s what tweens looked forward to. I’m scared. Oh. Well, why are you scared? Cause teenagers have bad judgment and do bad things. I don’t want to be […]
Posted in: I've become my parents, Things you should know
The Sex Talk Version 2.0
April 14, 2013
I wonder if it’s too late to have The Talk with my dad. We never really did have that talk, and I know he’s had sex at least 3 times, so it could be interesting to get his perspective on it all. I only say this, because when I was your age, son, I never […]
Posted in: Cartoons, Things you should know
Making sense of terrible tween logic
April 3, 2013
Son, you have the best parents ever. All the other parents are just mumbling under their breath, “I can’t wait until Billy has kids of his own, then he’ll understand. Then it’ll be payback time!” I, on the other hand, am giving you the tools you’ll need to make sense of your Terrible Tween and […]
Posted in: I've become my parents, Things you should know
Please dad, I promise I won’t run over any hookers
March 21, 2013
You started by crashing your Hot Wheels but that wasn’t enough. You discovered Minecraft and quickly realized that you could build entire cities out of TNT and blow them up. That was cool, but just not the same as crashing cars. You discovered cheesy car crash games for your iPod and had to download every […]
Posted in: Things you should know
When did dances get this complicated?
March 4, 2013
It’s great to be back! If you’ve just joined us (thank you, by the way), the Editor in Chief, Executive Editor, Head Writer, Creative Director, Best Boy and the entire Pencil Sharpening Team here at IBMP took a break from the Interwebs for a few weeks. Upon returning, I was pleased to see the universe […]
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I've become my parents 
May 26, 2013
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