You’re scaring me a bit here, son. I had no idea that reading books about puberty would make you wish you had zits. I get that they’re a sign of growing up, but so are smelly feet and I don’t see you checking for that everyday.
Those books were supposed to get you all scared and freaked out about the dangers of sex and all the nasty hormone-induced mood swings. You’re supposed to want to take your time and enjoy being a kid for as long as possible. The grown-up world is a frightening and dangerous place. Just like Facebook, you don’t want to go there without proper training.
And zits are supposed to be something you dread, not anxiously await like some puss-filled badge of manliness you proudly wear on your forehead to indicate the functional status of your testicles. The whole point of the chapter on zits was to get you to start actively working on personal hygiene. Instead, you wake up every morning and run to the mirror in anticipation hoping that’s the day you become a man. I swear, if you check for zits one more time today, I’ll find a way to give you some of mine.
Oh, right, that’s something they didn’t tell you in those books: along with all the other genes I’ve given you comes one for everlasting puberty. That’s right, you’d better be careful what you wish for because I’m in my forties and I’m still dealing with some of the symptoms of puberty.
The moodiness could arguably be unrelated to puberty; it may be due to the fact that serotonin ebbs and flows in my body like blood sugar in an untreated diabetic (remind me to warn you about that one).
But the zits refuse to quit, as you recently pointed out quite publicly. Having my genes means you’ll have plenty of time to wear that badge of honor. And trust me, the novelty wears off.
I guess what I’m saying here is slow down. Take your time with this whole growing-up thing. Mom and I only have a little more time with a child in our lives. Once those hormones start flowing, it’s over. The innocent child will be gone.
Don’t worry, we’ll still love you—and we’ll certainly take advantage of you growing up by heaping a whole load of new chores and responsibilities on you—but we’ll miss our little boy, too.
I've become my parents 
Julie @Momspective
May 31, 2011
And once those breakouts starts there’s no telling when they’ll stop. Shoot, I’m 34 and my skin is still crap. Wah.
I've Become My Parents
May 31, 2011
It’s just not fair, is it? Based on your blog, I think you’ve made up for occassional breakouts with a killer, if not a bit whacked (in that good whacked kind of way) sense of humor. Thanks for stopping by!
Sharyn
June 1, 2011
My son was like that for braces; every time we even drove my the orthodontist’s office (which is across the street from our house so this happened a lot) he’d perseverate about when he’d get braces. The day after he got them on he wanted them off. I kept telling him how ghastly they are but he just wanted to be like everyone else. Come to think of it, I remember obsessing about braces the same as he did, until I actually got them.
I've Become My Parents
June 1, 2011
Funny how that works. I had a chance to see some kids with braces get skewered in middle school before I got mine, so I wasn’t looking forward to it. Wore my headgear to school one day in middle school and I’m still dealing with the trauma.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
artistoleversa
June 29, 2011
I haven’t had many breakouts in my lifetime, i remember one was due to a nasty reaction to an antibiotic though, Now that i am pregnant, i have been getting zits like crazy. The one of many downsides to early pregnancy, can’t wait for more. Hah, 😛
I've Become My Parents
July 8, 2011
Welcome to adult-onset puberty. Maybe they’ll clear up once the little one arrives…maybe?
Thanks for reading and commenting!