Browsing All posts tagged under »parenting cartoons«

Making sense of terrible tween logic

April 3, 2013

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Son, you have the best parents ever. All the other parents are just mumbling under their breath, “I can’t wait until Billy has kids of his own, then he’ll understand. Then it’ll be payback time!” I, on the other hand, am giving you the tools you’ll need to make sense of your Terrible Tween and […]

While I’m away: a puberty post from the past

February 11, 2013

14

…………… Hello, and thank you for contacting I’ve Become My Parents. We are not available to write a post right now. Your post-reading is important to us. Please stay on the blog and a post will be with you just as soon as one becomes available…. Ding chucka chucka ding dingity ding thwapata bing thwapata […]

How Disney made me a liar

January 18, 2013

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The floor under the seats of the local movie theater where I grew up was really quite remarkable. Decades of non-diet soda coated the concrete with a thick layer of sweet syrup. It was like flypaper that caught only popcorn and blobs of gum.  I know this because I spent a lot of time under […]

Because I said so

January 8, 2013

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Son, you used to use the word “why” constantly: “Why is the sky blue?” “Why do dogs lick their weewees?” “Why are you sleeping on the couch again?” You had an insatiable curiosity. Now, “Why?” is reserved for use only after I ask you to do something. For example: “Cheeky, please clean your room,” “Why?” […]

Why I may never pass on my parental wisdom

December 29, 2012

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  Son, if you’re going to grow up to be just like me, then you’re destined to be a cynic.  You’ll question every motive, assume all facts are suspect until proven otherwise, and treat all salesmen like all they really want is to separate you from your money (Actually, the last one’s not cynicism, that’s just […]

A monopoly on giving

December 17, 2012

23

Son, if you want stuff for Channukah, you’ve got to get rid of some of the things you don’t use anymore. But I use everything. Everything? Yeah, everything. This busted baby toy? You mean to tell me you use this? I was just about to. And this thing? It goes with my Chutes and Ladders […]