Welcome to this week’s instalment of WTF Wednesday, where what we say goes. It goes with both red and white wine; it goes with any flavour ice cream (except Neapolitan, nothing goes with that unless you avoid the pink part); it even goes out with the trash.
This week’s question comes via Twitter and was submitted by @nystoopmama. She also has a blog called Stoop Mama. Weird coincidence, I guess. Here’s what she writes:
Dear Barmy,
Is it wrong that my 4 year old’s 2 fave songs are M.I.A.’s Paper Planes & Foster the People’s Pumped up Kicks? Shitty parenting?
You know, I get a lot of questions from people wondering if they’re crappy parents. I’m guessing it’s not great for business to confirm such suspicions so no, it’s not shitty parenting. Shitty parenting would be whatever you have to do in order for your kid to grow up writing lyrics like M.I.A.’s. Your daughter’s not writing that stuff, she’s just shocking the neighbors and entertaining her first-grade teacher with them. That’s totally different.
Is it wrong? Well, let’s have a look at the lyrics to M.I.A.’s Paper Planes:
I fly like paper, get high like planes; If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my name; If you come around here, I make ’em all day; I get one done in a second if you wait
Sounds like someone who gets around, helps people in need and likes paper airplanes.
All I wanna do is; And a, and take your money; All I wanna do is; And a, and take your money
Cool, the girl’s got a singular goal. That sets a good example, right? And she’s not afraid to sing in public even though she’s got such a horrible stuttering problem. That’s just plain inspirational.
Pirate skulls and bones; Sticks and stones and weed and bombs; Running when we hit ’em; Lethal poison through their system
Some, some, some I, some I murder; Some I, some I let go; Some, some, some I, some I murder; Some I, some I let go
So that’s pretty good; she lets roughly half of them go. How nice is that? I’ve heard some of those guys murder all of them. It’s a start anyway.
Let’s compare that to another, more sinister song: Barney’s I Love You
I love you You love me
We’re a happy family
OK, so they’re a family that loves each other. Really, really loves each other. Fine.
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
Won’t you say you love me too
Kissing cousins, maybe?
I love you You love me
We’re best friends like friends should be
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
Oh, I get it, they’re best friends with benefits. Apparently, the way all friends should be. The lyrics just repeat themselves after that. That’s what all good songs with subliminal messages do.
So do you want your child learning about the importance of having goals, helping people in need and only murdering people sometimes, or do you want her learning that incestial relationships and BFFs with benefits are the way it “should be”? Seriously, those Barney lyrics are right out of the Pick Up Lines for Pedophiles Handbook.
M.I.A and Foster the People are actually pretty tame. Pumped Up Kicks was an attempt to bring attention to gun violence and M.I.A. says Paper Planes is a statement about stereotypes of immigrants. Your child should really be listening to Snoop Dogg. That way, the first time some misogynistic douchebag calls her his bitch, she’ll know what he means.
Problem solved. You’re welcome.
sunshine
July 18, 2012
truly funny! keep it coming. =)
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
Thanks, Sunshine! As long as the questions keep coming, I’ll keep doing the Wednesday thing. It’s my chance to get a bit snarkier than I do with the “regular” posts.
elysianhunter
July 18, 2012
I’m glad my son never got addicted to the dinosaur. Thomas the Tank Engine was enough for me. Now that he’s an adult he has a taste for techno, which to me sounds like the soundtracks for bad porn movies. To think my Mom was offended by Led Zeppelin’s “The Lemon Song.” How can one not like Led Zeppelin? But in all fairness, I think every generation thinks their offspring’s music choices suck.
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
Oh, yeah, we were big into the Thomas franchise.
I think the difference is that Led Zeppelin’s music is still well known and selling. That music was made to last. I’m not sure much of what is produced today has a shelf life beyond 2-5 years.
elysianhunter
July 18, 2012
So true. I’m dating myself, but there are very few songs written after 1985 (there are some notable exceptions) in my MP3 player. Most of the new music is crap.
beanovercomer
July 18, 2012
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!….
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
🙂
Alicia
July 18, 2012
We never got the purple dinosaur either… or any of the Sesame street 🙂
And while each generation can frown on their kids’ music choice – this is something to ponder (it is a picture, no spam): https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-O213TPSTFUg/UAaySTKWm_I/AAAAAAAAE-8/PEr1nBV8K6A/w463-h494-k/Music.jpg
elysianhunter
July 18, 2012
But as we know, Freddie Mercury was awesome. As is “Bohemian Rhapsody.” 🙂
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
I certify that link as both safe and well worth clicking!
It really does tell much of the story. It’s not that I think today’s music is the music of the devil like my parents probably thought of what I listened to. It’s that the quality–regardless of genre–of music today just isn’t as good. It’s a cheap disposable product available for less money than most things at the dollar store.
Damn. I’ve become my parents. But I guess we knew that already.
Laura Lamere
July 18, 2012
Really great stuff! Love the humor! You’ll definitely be the “cool” mom when your kids are teenagers! 🙂
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
Thanks Laura! Glad you stopped by. I suspect I’ll never be the cool mom, though; I’m afflicted with a congenital disorder known as the Y chromosome. It’s an understandable mistake given my anonymous status.
Laura Lamere
July 19, 2012
LOL! I realized that after commenting! You might become the cool dad – I think there are some out there. 🙂
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 19, 2012
Maybe I’ll be the first ever to pull it off!
csgomez79
July 18, 2012
I was sad to see that you didn’t use douchebag or bitch in your tags. Imagine the audience you could reach! Seriously, this was the funniest of your blogs I’ve read so far. My two-year-old’s favorite song was “Country Girl (Shake it for me)”. Sometimes it’s not about the lyrics, it’s about the beat.
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
Maybe I should pop those tags in just to see what response I get…and what spam I get!
I agree, it’s rarely about the lyrics for pre-puberty aged kids. My son never gets the lyrics correct anyway. It is all about the beat.
Dad, aka Stephen (@AReallyCoolDad)
July 18, 2012
Funny post. My son (9) and his friends sing LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem, and and line, “I’ve got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it, show it, show it…” Troubled, I asked them if they knew what the line meant. They said, “they like wearing cool pants.” I guess I am okay for a while…
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
Haha! Yup you’re good for a while. That’s my son’s favorite song at the moment but he just repeats the first line (incorrectly).
These songs will be around for many decades to come, but not because they’re good: they take over your brain, causing you to repeat the same line thousands of times until your neurons rewire themselves causing all future thoughts to trigger the memory of that line.
tracy @nystoopmama
July 18, 2012
I feel so much better to know I’m simply encouraging LJ to become a charitable, compassionate entrepreneur! Yay!
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 18, 2012
Isn’t it great knowing you’re awesome no matter what the neighbors say? Thanks for the great question, Tracy!
unwillinglawstudent
July 19, 2012
i just love your blog 🙂 i’m not a parent but your blogs just awesome
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 19, 2012
Thanks! I have a cartoon coming up that I think will resonate nicely with unwilling law students like you… 🙂
utterly_ordinary
July 20, 2012
i look forward to it! 🙂
MsStressB
July 22, 2012
awesome, as usual 😉
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
July 22, 2012
Thanks for taking the time to say so!