I’m sorry I didn’t seem too concerned or upset yesterday. I know it was a big deal to you and you expected me to beg you to change your mind. Read this in 10 years and it’ll all make sense:
Son, what are you doing?
I’m leaving. You don’t love me so I’m going to find someone who does.
We don’t love you?
No. Why else would you be so mean?
Mean?
Yes mean. You know I hate to go to bed before midnight.
Um, you’ve never been up that late in your life.
Yes I have. I’m always up until like 10:30 and stuff.
Got it.
So I’m leaving and don’t try to stop me.
OK, but you’ll probably want to put pants on.
Fine. Then I’m going.
No bag?
What do you mean?
You know, a bag to carry important things that you’ll need? Like a toothbrush and maybe a pillow or something.
Yes I’m going to pack a bag. Duh!
Sorry, I didn’t know. You know, Mom and I would rather you stay.
No, you’ll be glad I’m gone.
Well, it will make the house a little easier to clean, but still…
As soon as I’m packed I’m leaving.
Right.
–After about ten minutes and considerable noisy effort, you emerged from your room carrying that little bag you got at Billie’s birthday.–
All set?
Yes, except I can’t get my Transformer in the bag.
Well, what if you left the trophy here?
But I like it.
Yes, well, that does present a problem. Do you really need all these books? You haven’t touched Caillou in years.
But I might read it again.
Hmmm.
I’ll just carry the Transformer.
Maybe you could tuck it in your jacket. You are taking a jacket?
No.
You might consider it. Where are you going to sleep?
At my new parents’ house.
Oh, right.
I am going, you know.
I know. You know it’s dark out right?
Um…
I’m just saying that because of all the bears we’ve had here lately.
Um…
Maybe you should wait until morning. It’ll be light out then and it’ll be easier to find new parents.
Well, I could, but if I do wait until tomorrow I’m still going.
Sure. I know. Wanna play Mouse Trap?
Okay.
I've become my parents 
JSD
September 11, 2011
That is so funny…brings back memories of my now 45-year-old son leaving home at the age of six, then seven, then again at nine. Don’t you just want to hug them even more? Thanks for a great post.
I've Become My Parents
September 11, 2011
Glad you liked it. You’re absolutely right, and they just don’t get why you’re smiling through the whole episode. Thanks for swinging by!
brainrants
September 11, 2011
OMG this is sooooo classic.
I've Become My Parents
September 11, 2011
Glad you think so!
brainrants
September 11, 2011
Hey BTW IBMP, I added you to my blogroll
In case that’s a moment for you, or makes you poop or something.
I've Become My Parents
September 11, 2011
That was YOU? You realize I was right in the middle of lunch–that was embarrassing. Had to run home and get fresh underwear. You gotta warn me before you just go stick IBMP on a blog roll. 😉
whatimeant2say
September 11, 2011
My parents always said I could leave, but then I was never going to be allowed back. That pretty much worked.
I've Become My Parents
September 11, 2011
Oh yeah, that would do it. So I guess you stayed.
lovethebadguy
September 11, 2011
I laughed so hard reading this. Pretty sure we all had that type of conversation at some point in our lives.
Always funny/embarrassing when you think back… 😉
I've Become My Parents
September 11, 2011
…or for some of us, multiple points in our lives. I’m looking forward to reviewing this conversation with my son in 5 or so years!
Lorna's Voice
September 12, 2011
Great post! Reminded of the time my son, then 7, was mad at me and wanted to leave but couldn’t get his act together. He couldn’t even find his backpack and I wasn’t going to help him. That’s when he threatened to call Social Services and report me for holding him hostage. I gave him the phone book. He looked at me and asked if I would look up the number. I said no and he gave up. Kids!
I've Become My Parents
September 12, 2011
I love that! Social Services…I would have loved to watch how that call went if he found the number!
Penelope J.
September 12, 2011
Really good! LOL good. You should try and publish this, and some of your other pieces somewhere. Flash fiction? Or as a collection. This one speaks to every parent, past and present, in a way we can relate to.
I've Become My Parents
September 12, 2011
I’m working on it…(hear that, publishers?)
Thanks Penelope!
Ms Mary
September 12, 2011
I recall when my brother ran away. He packed food. He must’ve packed cold cuts because he came back to get the mustard. Then he left again. (Does that mean he re- ran away?) I’ll have to remember to tell my Mother that one. It’s not tattling if it’s, oh, 35 years later, ya think?
Another great post. You rock!
I've Become My Parents
September 12, 2011
Naw, it’s not tattling…statute of limitations is 34 1/2 years, so I say go for it.
Mustard? He came back for mustard?! That’s just awesome. And yes, I think that means he did a rerun 😉
Thanks so much for the comment!
Ms Mary
September 12, 2011
Gouldens spicy brown in the little jar … when they were glass. For some reason I can’t forget it.
Juli Hoffman
September 12, 2011
This is great! Sometimes it’s tuff being the grown up! My little guy is grounded at the momment and I feel like I’M the one being punished. Sigh!
I've Become My Parents
September 12, 2011
Don’t you hate when we suffer as much from our kids’ punishments as they do? Hang in there! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. 🙂
Glen
September 13, 2011
Ms Mary…..It was the large jar…..
obafuntay
September 13, 2011
This is amazing! Being a father must be an Awesome task! This is #Classic
I've Become My Parents
September 13, 2011
Thanks, and yes “awesome” is certainly one way I’d describe it!