Browsing All posts tagged under »Parenting«

Just tween you and me

June 9, 2013

18

Listen, son, let’s be clear about this: your job as my son is to make me feel better about myself by being the kid I wished I had been. You’re supposed to make up for all my youthful shortcomings as I re-live my youth vicariously through you. See, you are my “If I could do […]

Parenting: a burst of instant joy and a lifetime of delayed gratification

May 26, 2013

75

Okay, son, most of this blog is about things you should know in order to avoid becoming your dad. Some of our newer readers are probably asking what’s so wrong with your dad. Nothing, really. I’m bloody perfect. Well, almost. But that doesn’t mean I want you to be me. Certainly there are things about […]

What to Expect When You’re Expecting to be a Teenager

April 30, 2013

28

What we have: What I wish we had: Dad, I don’t want to be thirteen. Why not? I don’t want to be a teenager. Really? I thought that’s what tweens looked forward to. I’m scared. Oh. Well, why are you scared? Cause teenagers have bad judgment and do bad things. I don’t want to be […]

The Sex Talk Version 2.0

April 14, 2013

34

I wonder if it’s too late to have The Talk with my dad. We never really did have that talk, and I know he’s had sex at least 3 times, so it could be interesting to get his perspective on it all. I only say this, because when I was your age, son, I never […]

Making sense of terrible tween logic

April 3, 2013

42

Son, you have the best parents ever. All the other parents are just mumbling under their breath, “I can’t wait until Billy has kids of his own, then he’ll understand. Then it’ll be payback time!” I, on the other hand, am giving you the tools you’ll need to make sense of your Terrible Tween and […]

Please dad, I promise I won’t run over any hookers

March 21, 2013

39

You started by crashing your Hot Wheels but that wasn’t enough. You discovered Minecraft and quickly realized that you could build entire cities out of TNT and blow them up. That was cool, but just not the same as crashing cars. You discovered cheesy car crash games for your iPod and had to download every […]