Family | I've become my parents

Browsing All posts tagged under »Family«

The janitor’s not a werewolf, and other things you’ve got all wrong

August 5, 2011

Look, son, the world is a confusing place. It’s hard to navigate it with only 10 years of experience under your belt. You’ve got commercials telling you one thing, parents telling you something else, and that kid in class that thinks he has an answer for everything. Who are you supposed to believe? Me. You’re supposed to believe […]

Putting the “Why” in Whining

July 24, 2011

One of the things you’ll realize as you become more and more like your parents is that there are certain questions that we really don’t like. Most of the really big offenders seem to start with the word “Why.” At first it’s all real innocent: “Daddy, why do dogs not fly like birds?” Or, “Why […]

Don’t bother; I’m just going to say no…again.

July 18, 2011

You ask and I say “No”. You ask again. I say “No” again. You say “Please.” I say “No.” You say, “Please, please, please puhleeeeese.” And I say “No.” You give up. The next day, you’ll ask again. So I’m going to save you some trouble and lay it out for you as clearly as I can. […]

Some things you can expect from your parents

July 11, 2011

Right, we’ve established that I’ve become my parents and that, despite my best efforts to stop it, you will likely become me. Let’s keep with the theme here and talk some more about what you can expect. Once you get over the initial shock of this basic fundamental Law of the Circle of Life, you’ll […]

Lazy and just a wee bit too honest

July 8, 2011

Son, we’ve talked about a lot of stuff here. Most notably, I’ve tried to give you a bit of a heads up about what becoming like me would mean for you. It’s my version of Scared Straight–steering you away from living a life of, well, being your parents (Which, while technically is not illegal, should […]

Son, it’s time we talked about sports

July 4, 2011

“Hey Dad, at the class picnic I was sitting there thinking everyone hated me and Danny came up to me and said I was ‘hard to hate’. Isn’t that a funny thing to say?” The way you said that yesterday, son, totally caught me off guard. You said it as if the “everyone hated you” […]