Family Humor | I've become my parents

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Don’t bother; I’m just going to say no…again.

July 18, 2011

You ask and I say “No”. You ask again. I say “No” again. You say “Please.” I say “No.” You say, “Please, please, please puhleeeeese.” And I say “No.” You give up. The next day, you’ll ask again. So I’m going to save you some trouble and lay it out for you as clearly as I can. […]

Some things you can expect from your parents

July 11, 2011

Right, we’ve established that I’ve become my parents and that, despite my best efforts to stop it, you will likely become me. Let’s keep with the theme here and talk some more about what you can expect. Once you get over the initial shock of this basic fundamental Law of the Circle of Life, you’ll […]

Lazy and just a wee bit too honest

July 8, 2011

Son, we’ve talked about a lot of stuff here. Most notably, I’ve tried to give you a bit of a heads up about what becoming like me would mean for you. It’s my version of Scared Straight–steering you away from living a life of, well, being your parents (Which, while technically is not illegal, should […]

Son, it’s time we talked about sports

July 4, 2011

“Hey Dad, at the class picnic I was sitting there thinking everyone hated me and Danny came up to me and said I was ‘hard to hate’. Isn’t that a funny thing to say?” The way you said that yesterday, son, totally caught me off guard. You said it as if the “everyone hated you” […]

Stupid things I tried so now you don’t have to #4: Serial killer glasses

June 23, 2011

I was looking through some boxes of old stuff tonight. It’s pretty hard to go through boxes of old stuff without finding a bazillion things that would fit nicely into a series about stupid things I tried. In fact, I think the first box I looked at holds enough evidence to provide a lifetime of […]

I used to be skinny, too

June 16, 2011

I used to be skinny. No, really, I did. You’re going to be skinny too, I can tell already. Mom was, I was, and you will be. I didn’t beat 130 lbs until well after college. Some of it is genetic. You’ve already demonstrated an ability to eat half a gallon of ice cream […]