I’m not dead yet

Posted on June 24, 2014



Hiding from the teenager

OK, so it’s been a little while since I last posted. I know what you’re thinking but I’m not dead. If I were, I’d have all the time in the world to write posts (in between breaking rocks and applying burn cream—don’t know why, but I’ve always assumed I’d be heading south when I die). But, alas, life is apparently less forgiving than death. Who knew?

While I was away, my spam filter subscription expired. The blog also hit 10,000 subscribers (thank you all very much, by the way). So to all you new subscribers, welcome to IBMP–just ignore the comments promising you the best sex EVER. Those things never work anyway…not that I’d know, of course. I mean what kind of an idiot would send away for that crap only to get a bottle of sugar pills and a roll of duct tape in an unmarked brown paper package sent to a fake person at my address…not that I’d know, of course.

A lot has happened in the time between my last post and this one. I was going to lay it all out here today but then I thought it would be more fun to save it for upcoming posts (sorry). Suffice it to say over the next while we’ll be talking about the Sandwich Generation, raising teenagers (Today’s cartoon is autobiographical, by the way.), how best to respond when the back of your house falls off and what to do when you find out your shrink had it wrong all this time.

By way of updates, I will tell you that my son has now made the transition from tween to teen. I, on the other hand, have yet to fully make the transition from parent of a tween to parent of a teen. My strategy so far is to crawl under my bed and stay there for, oh…about 7 years or so. My wife thinks it’s silly but I’ve left some room under here for her. It’s only a matter of time before she sees the wisdom of my plan.

In other news, my son is no longer interested in Emmie. He’s now totally into Crissy. That’s better; she’s more his type. Only problem is she thinks he’s really nice, which is girlspeak for “You’re like the brother I never had and ew who wants to date their brother?” If that confuses you, maybe this will clear things up:

What girls want


Anyway, it seems that despite my best efforts Cheeky’s becoming more like his dad every day.  Poor kid.

But more on that next time…