Shoe store deaths: an under-reported side effect of people afflicted with the Y chromosome

Posted on April 30, 2011


So you know today at the mall with Mom when we were waiting for her to finish trying on shoes? That noxious mixture of fresh plastic and toxic Chinese shoe factory glue burning our eyes? You said, “Dad, I don’t want to die in a shoe store.” Sorry, but you can’t change destiny. That’s the big lesson in this whole blog. I don’t know the exact numbers, but statistically speaking I think roughly one out of five men die in shoe stores while waiting for women to finish trying on shoes.

I feel your pain, man, but I’m afraid I can’t help you with this one. Because this one isn’t about you having my genes; it’s about you having my chromosomes. And that’s too big for even the highest paid L.A. shrink to fix.

There are two kinds of chromosomes. You, being male, got one of each (an X and a Y) so your chances of dying in a shoe store are greatly increased.

But, on the bright side, you can always site that unfortunate chromosomal affliction as an excuse for just about anything stupid you get caught doing.