webcomics | I've become my parents

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While I’m away: a puberty post from the past

February 11, 2013

…………… Hello, and thank you for contacting I’ve Become My Parents. We are not available to write a post right now. Your post-reading is important to us. Please stay on the blog and a post will be with you just as soon as one becomes available…. Ding chucka chucka ding dingity ding thwapata bing thwapata […]

Human anatomy, the dessert stomach and yaks. Trust me, it’ll make sense when you read it.

February 3, 2013

DINNER n. – the smallest amount of food that must be eaten in order to qualify for dessert. I’m sorry, son, but dinner is a necessary evil if you want dessert. It’s like suffering through Aunt Hattie’s lipstick-kiss before you can open the gift she brought you. Or bathing. Although both of those things only […]

One-liners from the Twittersphere: funny tweets I couldn’t let die

January 29, 2013

Those of you that have been kicking around this place for awhile know that I also waste my time over on Twitter. Twitter started as a way to tell the world what you had for breakfast or what coffee shop you’re sitting in, and other really important stuff like that. Some people still use […]

Why I may never pass on my parental wisdom

December 29, 2012

Son, if you’re going to grow up to be just like me, then you’re destined to be a cynic. You’ll question every motive, assume all facts are suspect until proven otherwise, and treat all salesmen like all they really want is to separate you from your money (Actually, the last one’s not cynicism, that’s just […]

A monopoly on giving

December 17, 2012

Son, if you want stuff for Channukah, you’ve got to get rid of some of the things you don’t use anymore. But I use everything. Everything? Yeah, everything. This busted baby toy? You mean to tell me you use this? I was just about to. And this thing? It goes with my Chutes and Ladders […]

Someday it’ll be worth something

December 10, 2012

Me: Hey son, welcome home! Mom and I just worked our butts off to make you your favorite dinner! Tadaaaa!—it’s home-made mac and cheese with turkey chili! You: Oh. Me: Oh? Whadya mean, “oh”? You: I hate home-made mac and cheese, and last time I ate your turkey chili I almost threw up all over […]