Should you let your child read your old diaries?

Posted on October 9, 2012


Vampire junk food

Here’s a Halloween-themed cartoon.

Welcome to this week’s instalment of WTF Wednesday, where the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts, but we’re pretty sure it’s because the Americans are using Imperial and everyone else is using metric.

This week’s question came via Google. Like so many parenting questions, the answer really depends on your parenting style and personal approach. But since the best style and approach is mine, what works for me should work equally well for you. Here’s the question:

Dear IBMP,

Would you let your kids read your old diaries?

Of course you should! There is no better way to help your kids get to know you, except for maybe talking to them, which we all know is a ridiculous idea.

Anyway, let’s have a quick look at what your child could learn by reading your old diaries:

  • You were once a vulnerable, insecure, idealistic, whining, self-absorbed teenager just like them.
  • While not Mommy’s first choice, Daddy wasn’t nearly as creepy as the guy Mommy actually hoped would ask her to the prom.
  • Your kids shouldn’t feel so bad about their crappy spelling skills.
  • The stories your kids found online about you really are true.
  • There was life before sexting.
  • Backseats used to be a lot bigger.
  • Dad had the same inflated sense of awesomeness back then that he has today.
  • Uncle Bernie was always a douchebag.
  • When Dad said he was a star football player in high school, he meant that he starred as a football in the high school play.
  • People really liked unicorns when Mom was a kid.
  • What Dad referred to as “a lot of experience with girls” when he gave his son The Talk might be better described as “a load of crap.”
  • Mom and Dad got to try all kinds of stuff when they were young but you’ll be grounded if you even think about it.
  • Mom and Dad had to be forced to talk to their grandparents on the phone, too.
  • Kids today didn’t actually invent dry humping.

Or, in my son’s case, reading my diary would teach him that I was always this lame. Here’s your proof: Found my old diary and it turns out I was lame then, too.

Problem solved! You’re welcome.

What would your kids learn from reading your old diaries?