The IBMP Dictionary of Parenting Terms

Posted on December 11, 2011


I’ve been doing these Words of the Day for a long time now and, while there are only about 25 on this site at any one time, there are somewhere around 130 taking up valuable electrons on my computer. I’m nearly finished with the I’ve Become My Parents book and decided to put a glossary of parenting terms in the back, but when I put it together, it was just too funny to let it sit around waiting for me to get off my lazy ass and publish it. Plus, people have been asking me for something like this so it’s only fair that I call their bluff and provide it.

So I spent the last 4 days shirking all responsibilities, forgoing sleep and personal hygiene (more than usual) to compile all the Words of the Day into a dictionary, come up with a bunch of new ones, and create 26 brand-new cartoons so I could bring you The I’ve Become My Parents Dictionary of Parenting Terms:

IBMP Dictionary of Parenting Terms

Just in time for the holidays!*

The IBMP Dictionary of Parenting Terms is already #1 in the category: Self-Published Ebooks With Red Covers, Goofy Definitions For Parenting Terms And Amateurish Cartoons.

Seriously, I had a sale within 5 minutes of it becoming available on Amazon.   (Now I just need to explain to my wife what that charge on our credit card was for.)

It’s made with 100% organic ingredients in mind.

It’s free-range (for a small fee).

It’s portable.

It’s got a red cover.

It’s for a great cause (supports the Society for a More Financially Sustainable Barmy Rootstock).

And granted I’m biased but it’s packed with super funny and all-too-true definitions and illustrations.


26 brand-new cartoons (click to see this one)

How much would you pay for this outstanding offer? $1,000? $500? $19.95? Wait, don’t answer yet, because if you order before August 15, 2029 you’ll receive nothing else ABSOLUTELY FREE. NOW how much would you pay? Well, for a limited time only (or until I get desperate and drop the price even lower) you can get the I’ve Become My Parents Dictionary of Parenting Terms, including an overcompressed image of the cover, my eternal gratitude and absolutely nothing free for not $1,000, not $500, but for the low, low price of just $2.99! You read that right! One easy payment of $2.99 gets you all that!

So do us both a favor, spend less than you did for that latte in your hand and have some fun.

Here are the details:

The book is available now on and Barnes and Noble’s site. And as soon as the ISBN comes through, you’ll be able to get it on iBooks.

If you’re new to the whole ebook thing, you can download free readers for your PC, Mac, smartphones, iPad, etc. You don’t need to buy a dedicated ebook reader so you don’t really have an excuse (just sayin’). Just download a free app for any of your devices.

Oh, and I promise not to turn this blog into just a big marketing thing, but I need to at least let you know it’s available, right?

Unless you’re one of the majority of people on the planet who don’t celebrate the December gift-giving holidays. In that case, it’s either too late for the holidays, too early or simply irrelevant, so just buy it for yourself and smile.