I like your to-do list better than mine

Son, I found a To-Do list that you wrote today. I had no idea you were so organized! Sixteen things on it—that’s a lot for one day. I can totally understand how you’ve got no time for homework.

I hope you don’t mind but I’ve taken the liberty of creating my own list to go along with yours for the same day. Let’s compare.

Yours:

1. Get up

Mine:

1a.  Get up too bloody early and try and wake my son

1b.  Start breakfast and return to my son’s room to find him in the same position. Remove his covers and shake him vigorously

1c.  Drop his clothes on his head in an effort to wake him

1d.  Pull him out of bed feet-first and push him out the bedroom door

Yours:

2. Get dressed

Mine:

2a.  While he brushes his teeth, go back to my son’s room to get the clothes he left there

2b.  Notice he’s not using toothpaste, stop him and add it to the brush

2c.  Place clothes strategically on the floor where he will have to notice them to get out of the bathroom

2d. Go back to the bathroom to get the clothes he doesn’t notice

Yours:

3. Make my bed

Mine:

3a.  Remind my son to make his bed before coming down for breakfast

3b.  Ask if he made his bed when he arrives in the kitchen.

3c.  Wait while my son returns to his room to make his bed.

There’s a whole section in here that’s missing. It involves making a breakfast that won’t be eaten, reminding my son not to leave his bowl where the dog can get it, cleaning up after the dog gets my son’s bowl, washing dishes and a bunch of other stuff.

Yours:

4. Get ready for skiing

Mine:

4a.  Search for half an hour for one of my son’s gloves

4b.  Get my son to take off his ski bib and turn it right-side-out

4c.  Fight for ten minutes about the need to wear his helmet

4d.  Load the car with all my son’s stuff, check and double-check that it’s all there

Yours:

5. Go skiing

Mine:

5a.  After getting two minutes down the road, return home to get my ski gear

5b.  End up carrying my son’s skis and poles across the parking lot because he’s taking way too long

5c.  Take 2 runs while listening to non-stop whining about wanting to get hot chocolate from the lodge

5d. Give up and go have hot chocolate

5e.  Pack up all the gear and head home, reversing steps 4a-4d

Yours:

6. Help around the house

Mine:

6a.  Ask my son to help around the house

6b.  Ask again

6c.  Ask again in a more stern tone of voice

6d.  Realize I shouldn’t be asking at all and simply tell him to help around the house

6e.  Watch my son pick up the first toy he sees and immediately begin playing with it, forgetting about item 6 altogether

Yours:

7.  Have lunch

Mine:

7a.  Stop what I’m doing and make lunch

7b.  Remind my son to stop playing and focus on eating

7c.   Repeat 7b several times

7d.  Explain for the 5^th time this week why my son can’t have dessert since he barely ate any lunch

7e.  Wash dishes

Yours:

8. Maybe have a playdate

Mine:

8a.  Find out that my son has already planned and promised a playdate with a friend without asking his mom or dad

8b.  Spend the next half hour dealing with a grouchy kid who thinks I’m evil for not letting him have a playdate

Yours:

9.  Help around the house

Mine:

9a. Repeat 6a-6e

Yours:

10.  Have dinner

Mine:

10a. Repeat 7a-7e

Yours:

11. Get ready for bed

Mine:

11a.  Tell my son it’s time to start getting ready for bed

11b.  Help my son understand that his bedtime hasn’t changed and it is not, nor will it ever be midnight

11c.  Tell my son that his friend Timmy lied when he said his bedtime was midnight

11d.  Execute the bedtime preparation ritual including brushing teeth, flossing, face-washing, sending my son back to wash his hands and use soap this time, etc.

11e.  Spend 15 minutes trying to refocus my son on getting to bed after sending him off to say goodnight to Mom

Yours:

12. Read

Mine:

12a.  Read with my son

12b.  Agree to read just a little more

Yours:

13. Snuggle

Mine:

13a.  Yes, snuggle!

Yours:

14. Read

Mine:

14a.  Interrupt my son’s reading to remind him that it’s way past his bedtime

14b.  Repeat

Yours:

15. Maybe draw/color

Mine:

15a.  Check on my son an hour later to find him drawing race cars rather than sleeping

Yours:

16. Go to bed

Mine:

16a.  Too tired to actually get any of my own work done, go to bed