When your son thinks anywhere close to the potty is good enough

Posted on November 22, 2011


Problems peeing in the potty

Welcome to the eighth instalment of WTF Wednesday, where I have have a blog and that makes me qualified to answer your questions.

Today’s question comes via Twitter from John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) at Daddy’s in Charge? and was seconded by Scott (@ThisDaddys_Blog) from This Daddy’s Blog who write:

Dear IBMP,

Is there a way to get your son to pee in the center of the toilet and not all over the seat and nearby wall? I blame my wife.


OK, just to be clear, I think if there’s an expert in the house that should be teaching your son to pee properly, it’s probably the parent with the penis, so I wouldn’t be blaming the wife for this one.

I have no idea how single mothers handle this one but there are adult toy stores that carry products mothers can use for teaching purposes.

Now, in our home we’ve avoided this problem entirely by not letting our son know that standing is even an option. Today, at 10 years old he still thinks there’s an automatic valve that shuts off as soon as boys stand up. The only real issue it has caused is explaining what those funny bowl-shaped things on the wall in the  public men’s room are for. The first time he washed his hands in the urinal was a bit awkward for sure.

Clearly, you’ve chosen to tell your son he can pee standing up so we’ll make the best of that.

I’m guessing that you’ve tried the obvious things like floating a target in the toilet. That never works; it’s just way too much fun to pee on the wall. You need to get serious so let’s not mess around. Here’s your solution:

The trick is to create an electrified perimeter around the toilet bowl. In most cases, that stream of pee need only stray into that perimeter once and your son will be fully cured. Or cauterized. Maybe both. Either way, you won’t have any more pee on the wall.

Problem solved. You’re welcome!

Oh, and by the way, make sure you turn the thing off before your wife stumbles into the bathroom in the morning and sits down. I think she’d appreciate it.


Got a question? Fire away in the comments section.

Posted in: Advice (bad)