parenting humor | I've become my parents

Browsing All posts tagged under »parenting humor«

How Disney made me a liar

January 18, 2013

The floor under the seats of the local movie theater where I grew up was really quite remarkable. Decades of non-diet soda coated the concrete with a thick layer of sweet syrup. It was like flypaper that caught only popcorn and blobs of gum. I know this because I spent a lot of time under […]

Because I said so

January 8, 2013

Son, you used to use the word “why” constantly: “Why is the sky blue?” “Why do dogs lick their weewees?” “Why are you sleeping on the couch again?” You had an insatiable curiosity. Now, “Why?” is reserved for use only after I ask you to do something. For example: “Cheeky, please clean your room,” “Why?” […]

Why I may never pass on my parental wisdom

December 29, 2012

Son, if you’re going to grow up to be just like me, then you’re destined to be a cynic. You’ll question every motive, assume all facts are suspect until proven otherwise, and treat all salesmen like all they really want is to separate you from your money (Actually, the last one’s not cynicism, that’s just […]

Someday it’ll be worth something

December 10, 2012

Me: Hey son, welcome home! Mom and I just worked our butts off to make you your favorite dinner! Tadaaaa!—it’s home-made mac and cheese with turkey chili! You: Oh. Me: Oh? Whadya mean, “oh”? You: I hate home-made mac and cheese, and last time I ate your turkey chili I almost threw up all over […]

What it means when a girl punches you in the face

November 30, 2012

OK, listen up, son. We don’t have a lot of time to deal with this. Your testicles are dangerously close to injecting copious amounts of testosterone into your blood stream and you’ve unfortunately got the girl sense that I had at your age. Which is to say you have none at all. Once that chemical gets […]

Keeping your kids safe on Black Friday

November 23, 2012

Happy Black Friday! I hope those that do Thanksgiving enjoyed it and had much to be thankful for. Since it’s a holiday weekend for many IBMP readers, I thought I’d keep it simple today and give you a new cartoon in honor of Black Friday–the holiday that manages, in one day, to achieve a level […]