Cartoons | I've become my parents

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Parenting: a burst of instant joy and a lifetime of delayed gratification

May 26, 2013

Okay, son, most of this blog is about things you should know in order to avoid becoming your dad. Some of our newer readers are probably asking what’s so wrong with your dad. Nothing, really. I’m bloody perfect. Well, almost. But that doesn’t mean I want you to be me. Certainly there are things about […]

The Sex Talk Version 2.0

April 14, 2013

I wonder if it’s too late to have The Talk with my dad. We never really did have that talk, and I know he’s had sex at least 3 times, so it could be interesting to get his perspective on it all. I only say this, because when I was your age, son, I never […]

When did dances get this complicated?

March 4, 2013

It’s great to be back! If you’ve just joined us (thank you, by the way), the Editor in Chief, Executive Editor, Head Writer, Creative Director, Best Boy and the entire Pencil Sharpening Team here at IBMP took a break from the Interwebs for a few weeks. Upon returning, I was pleased to see the universe […]

One-liners from the Twittersphere: funny tweets I couldn’t let die

January 29, 2013

Those of you that have been kicking around this place for awhile know that I also waste my time over on Twitter. Twitter started as a way to tell the world what you had for breakfast or what coffee shop you’re sitting in, and other really important stuff like that. Some people still use […]

How Disney made me a liar

January 18, 2013

The floor under the seats of the local movie theater where I grew up was really quite remarkable. Decades of non-diet soda coated the concrete with a thick layer of sweet syrup. It was like flypaper that caught only popcorn and blobs of gum. I know this because I spent a lot of time under […]

Why I may never pass on my parental wisdom

December 29, 2012

Son, if you’re going to grow up to be just like me, then you’re destined to be a cynic. You’ll question every motive, assume all facts are suspect until proven otherwise, and treat all salesmen like all they really want is to separate you from your money (Actually, the last one’s not cynicism, that’s just […]