Stuffing your toybox with Happy Meal toys

Posted on February 15, 2012


Big budget studio

Welcome to another installment of WTF Wednesday, where the advice is free but following it might cost you more than just your reputation.

Today’s question was submitted by John Brown (a.k.a. @jbrown3079) of Twitterville Indiana. He’s also the owner of Bellbottom Blog. We don’t yet know if the other 3,078 JBrowns on Twitter endorse his question but he does indicate that he’s asking for “a friend.” This leads us to conclude that A) he has at least one friend, and B)Stuffing there are a lot of JBrowns on Twitter.

Mr. Brown3079 writes:

Dear IBMP,

Should “Happy Meal” toys take up the majority of space in a toybox? Asking for a friend.

Now see, folks, that is a good friend. He could have asked a question for himself but he took his valuable 87 Twitter characters to help out a friend instead. Because, of course, we all believe that he’s asking for a friend, right?

Well, John, like all good answers, this one starts with, “Well that depends.”

It depends, for example, on whether you want to support the hard work of Chinese factory slaves workers who, after a few weeks of work might earn enough to buy a Happy Meal themselves. If so, then a well-stocked toybox of fine imported Happy Meal trinkets is a good choice.

It also depends on your preferred ratio of working toys to broken toys. If you like it roughly equal to the ratio of straight men to gay men at a Cher concert, then yes by all means fill that box with Happy Meal freebies.

Or if you like having a backup plan in case you forget to buy cheap party favors for your kid’s birthday and need an emergency supply, then fill that toybox to the brim with Disney movie marketing crap from McDonald’s.

Those Happy Meal toys have other value as well. If not for Happy Meal toys, we’d have no mementos to remind ourselves of crappy kids’ movies that came and went over the course of an afternoon. The non-degradable, un-recyclable marketing collateral known as Happy Meal toys will be around long after we’ve all died from congestive heart failure and diabetes complications resulting from eating Happy Meals. It’s a legacy you can be proud of.

Also, a kid that is content with a toybox of Happy Meal toys clearly has remarkably low expectations when it comes to playthings. While all the other kids are whining about needing that $300 Lego set, your kid is just trying to collect all four Spy Kids Decoder Rings. That is certainly a reason to celebrate.

Whether you choose to stock your child’s toybox almost exclusively with Happy Meal toys is a personal decision. Hopefully we’ve given you all the tools you need to make the right decision for your household.

Problem solved. You’re welcome!

Got a question for WTF Wednesday? Fire away in the comments section!

Posted in: Advice (bad)