Welcome to the fourth instalment of WTF Wednesday where we’re questioning life’s most pressing answers.
Today’s question comes from Totsymae (@totsymae) who writes:
Dear IBMP,
I have a 15 year old daughter, constantly asking to get piercings. I allowed an extra ear piercing. What’s the best way to dissuade her from that navel piercing she keeps asking for? I’m really tired of just saying no and need a way to convince her this is not a good idea with solid reasoning.
Well, I can promise you reasoning, but I don’t know how solid it’ll be. I could probably manage somewhat viscous, though.
I’ve given this some thought in case my son decides to go that route. I’d prefer that he retain the same number of holes that he was born with. Actually, fewer would be pretty cool if I get to decide which ones go and which stay.
There is one surefire way to keep your daughter from doing just about anything: You do it first.
That’s right. Go out and get a big silver stud on your navel and parade around in a short top in front of your daughter’s friends. She’ll never go near a piercing shop again. If you want to be absolutely sure, get a few nipple rings, too.
Mom doing it first just sucks the coolness right out of anything. In fact, the technique will work with tattoos as well. I’d even hazard a guess that it would work with that boy you don’t want her to go out with.*
Problem solved. Glad I could help!
Ask your question below. Maybe yours will be picked next week and all your problems will melt away like they just did for Totsymae.
* My lawyers have just required me to add the following: I do not, in any way, intend to suggest, imply or otherwise create the impression (even though it would totally work) that anyone should seek to date a guy that their daughter is interested in as a means of deterring said daughter from doing so. Even though I totally know what I’m talking about, readers are advised to consult their doctor, shrink, wedding counselor, BFF or any random person over the age of 11 before even considering doing anything discussed on this blog. Have a nice day and don’t sue me.
I've become my parents 
bestbathroombooks
October 25, 2011
Good luck. I tried to keep my daughter from getting a tattoo, and she has two. She took out the piercing though–but the hole’s still there by golly.
Les
I've Become My Parents
October 25, 2011
Super glue? Could seal that hole right up…?
Thanks for the comment!
BrainRants
October 25, 2011
You might be onto something there.
I've Become My Parents
October 25, 2011
Let me know if you give it a try.
Juli Hoffman
October 25, 2011
Too funny…and too true. I am not looking forward to my son becoming a teenager!
I've Become My Parents
October 25, 2011
Yeah, unfortunately I don’t have a cure for the whole becoming a teenager thing…
JSD
October 26, 2011
Great idea! That would turn any teen off from piercings and tattoos.
As far as dealing with teenagers, hang in there! They will eventually grow up and become parents. Then you can watch them deal with their own teenagers…and just sit back and try not to laugh too loud. 🙂
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
I am sooo looking forward to that day! Thanks for the words of encouragement.
totsymae1011
October 26, 2011
That sounds solid enough to me. So, when she asks again, I’ll just be prepared and throw my shirt above my navel and have the theme music, “How You Like Me Now” by Kool Moe D playing on the background to top it off.
Hey, I couldn’t have gone to anyone else to better resolve this little dilemma. Thanks, I’ve Become Like My Parents.(now skipping away to the nearest shopping mall for my piercing) 🙂
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
Oh, and don’t tell her father I recommended it. Let’s just keep this our little secret. ‘Kay?
Lorna's Voice
October 26, 2011
Good advice…from and and your lawyer! 😉
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
Thanks, Lorna!
Angela@BeggingTheAnswer
October 26, 2011
Too true! Well, the piercing part anyways…
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
I trust you havent’ tried the other stuff then?
Jamie
October 26, 2011
Really good advice! Looks like I’ve got it covered! LOL
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
Let me know how it turns out…or have your lawyers contact mine to let them know, whichever applies.
ANNEMARIE CHAGNON
October 26, 2011
sweet Ive got that base covered already for when baby girl grows up! I am sure she will love her mom walking around like that at 49! YEAH
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
Cool. Of course, by then the issue will be something else. Instead of piercings, you’ll be worried about some weird new thing. I don’t know, something like cutting off your earlobe and taping it to your forehead until it takes root and grows there. At that point, the piercing really won’t seem that big a deal…
thelaughingmom
October 26, 2011
The willingness to look like an ass first so your child won’t. Now that’s some real soul searching! Enjoying the Wednesday Parenting Questions feature.
I've Become My Parents
October 26, 2011
Well, just don’t ask me whether I practice what I preach. Always happy to search others’ souls, though!
Bekah
October 27, 2011
Ok, I don’t think this will work. If I was the girl and my mom went and did it first… I would argue even more about it. If she can get it done, then why can’t I? If mom gets it done, then just about any kind of valid argument that she would have had about why not to get it done just flew out the window. Kids find a way to do things… if her mom won’t let her do it, she might just end up doing it anyway. There really is no easy way around this.
I got my belly button pierced at 16. My mom told me that if my dad would take me, then I could get it done. He took me. Mom got mad because she didn’t think he would.
I've Become My Parents
October 27, 2011
See, for my kid, that’s just far too logical. If I do it or suggest it, it’s just not going to happen. And good on your dad for calling mom’s bluff 😉
savedmylifetoday
November 4, 2011
Exactly, if parents can do something then so can their children. Growing up, this was one of my go to arguments. My parent made getting my belly button pierced sound like just about the worst thing in the world. What do you think happened as soon as I moved out? I ended up with 23 piercings in one year(all were removed once I matured a little). Prohibiting fairly reasonable self expression(even if you don’t think it helps them express their individuality) as a teen is not really worth it.
If anything, talk about the pros and cons, find out why she really wants it(and why you really don’t want her to get it), then set a condition, wait until she’s 16, allow her to prove in some way that she is maturing, maybe getting great grades, taking on some volunteering, then go with her.
What harm will the piercing really do?
thecurvyspine
October 27, 2011
I don’t know if it would suck the coolness out of it. I think if she still wanted it , she wouldn’t care if her mom had it !
Chris @ CleverFather
October 28, 2011
I bet it would be more effective if dad got his bellybutton pierced 😛
The thought of a big hairy belly with a glow in the dark flower should be enough to give anyone nightmares!
I've Become My Parents
October 30, 2011
Well, it just worked for me! Thanks for the nightmares Chris 😉
MegansBeadedDesigns
November 4, 2011
Marvelous philosophy here! Any teenager HATES to be the one all her friends say has a “cool mom.” They will shout, “NO! it is so UNcool how cool she tries to be!”
Perfect solution.
Parenting
November 5, 2011
Nice Advice..sometimes our daughter need our argument that suit with their need.
asoulwalker
November 5, 2011
Your disclaimer is truly wonderful.
I've Become My Parents
November 5, 2011
Thanks. I’m sure it’ll totally protect me.
dietingfashions
November 5, 2011
That is just too true. When the time comes with my daughter, hopefully I’ll remember this little tidbit.
I've Become My Parents
November 5, 2011
Yes, well just remember nothing I say comes with a warranty of any kind. 😉
Arnon Krongrad, MD
November 5, 2011
Steven Ambrose explains in “Crazy Horse and Custer” that the plains Indians had a useful means for preventing teen pregnancy: Even sunset, the Indian mommies called their Indian daughters into the teepee and tied their legs together. We introduced it at home to great effect.
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
Haha! I’m sure the authorities would have no issue with that technique!
sarahrobyn
November 5, 2011
haha i love it, i got my navel pierced when i was 17 and mum didn’t even know.. i told her and she told me that she got a piercing in her nose when she was younger.. put me off for life. I do love my mum, but her having a piercing…that’s just weird!
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
Hehehe! Hahaha!
salmanaslampr
November 6, 2011
I did not understand the idea behind stopping your daughter from piercing about navel. She should know what the purpose of her navel was during her birth when she was in her mother’s womb. It’s about the education. there is nothing wrong in it! Are you agree with me IBMP?
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
Well, I’ve only got a son so it’s hard for me to judge about whether daughters should be able to pierce their navels. I’m really just the guy that provides the lousy advice.
Thanks for the comment!
Callie
November 6, 2011
LOl lol lol lol… I liked the addendum almost as much as the main topic… no, wait… I liked it more LOL
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
So does that mean you won’t sue me then? Woohoo!
imlikeabirdillonlyflyaway
November 6, 2011
Hahahah I like the disclaimer.
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
Glad you do. And I’m sure it’s totally binding, too 😉
j21s
November 6, 2011
when i was a teenager my mom would just say “call 20 more of your friends and i’ll pierce all your ears all together at once.”, she was sarcastic and every time i remember her statement, i just laughed and forget about having my ear pierced.
i’m planning to say exact same thing to my future children. haha
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
Hahaha! If it worked for you, it’s worth a try with future little j21ses!
onesun21
November 6, 2011
Love the idea, wish it worked for me, my mother had a very permissive parenting still so it was almost as if a friend got her naval pierced first thought it was totally cool,…then I got pregnant and not only did I get a yucky scar my dogs toe nail actually caught onto it and it is ripped and a little stretched out now! All our decisions during adolescence carry onto adulthood some not as pretty as others!
I've Become My Parents
November 7, 2011
Hahaha–ouch!
sawaterhous1
November 9, 2011
The flip side of the piercing argument though, is that you sometimes want to do things in order to ‘win’ over said parent- I’m an eighteen year old female and we seem to just love to do one better. Although at some point I grew half of a braincell, and decided that a tattoo designed simply to annoy my mother (For example, a giant skull, or a cannabis leaf) would inevitable annoy me more than her…
I think that’s why you have to be legally 18 to get a tattoo. And also why you cannot get one drunk.
I loved this post!
I've Become My Parents
November 9, 2011
Oooh, drunk tattoos. Yikes! Tattoo regret must really suck. Glad you grew that half braincell. It seems to be working for you!
Thanks for coming by!
Sadie
December 9, 2014
I am 13 and completely obsessed with ear piercings. I am not sure why my mom doesn’t like me to have them though. I like them, because they make you different, and unique, and they can express your individuality. I don’t understand why parents don’t let you have them, it is my body, and all it is, is a small hole in your ear. I don’t see the big deal, and I get very frustrated when my mom says no to them. I am also not sure why you won’t let your kids get them. I got my first hole when I was 2, second hole when I was 12, and third when I was 13. I don’t see a problem, you should let your children express themselves. IT’S THEIR BODY!!!!
Nolsie
March 2, 2015
Hi Barmy, Mark Nolan from https://nolsie.com – I have nominated you for a WordPress Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I think your posts are great, have a good laugh when I read them and think you should get some acknowledgement. I look forward to your future posts, thankyou for writing, kind regards Mark
Barmy Rootstock (IBMP)
March 2, 2015
Thanks very much, Mark!
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