Browsing All posts tagged under »tweens«

I think I’m in love

September 10, 2013

39

Hey, son, I think I’m in love with your friend. No, not like that. Well, kind of like that. Granted, she’s 12 and I’m just a wee bit older, but it’s not that kind of love so don’t give me that look you gave Uncle Dave when he said he wanted to be a Mall […]

Beware the vengeful squirrel

July 29, 2013

29

I get it: you’re scared to sleep in that room. First of all, son, they aren’t dead pet bunnies; they’re dead pet bunnies’ ashes. And the boxes are totally sealed. How evil could the ghosts of dead bunnies be, anyway? What’re they going to do, wiggle their little ghost-noses at you until you piss yourself with fear? […]

A guided tour of Minecraft: an addict teaches his dad

June 23, 2013

20

At 12 years-old, I was sitting in front of our black and white television trying to keep a little white blip from getting past a little white line. If I turned the knob to the right, my line went up; if I turned it to the left, my line went down. Every time the blip […]

Just tween you and me

June 9, 2013

18

Listen, son, let’s be clear about this: your job as my son is to make me feel better about myself by being the kid I wished I had been. You’re supposed to make up for all my youthful shortcomings as I re-live my youth vicariously through you. See, you are my “If I could do […]

What to Expect When You’re Expecting to be a Teenager

April 30, 2013

28

What we have: What I wish we had: Dad, I don’t want to be thirteen. Why not? I don’t want to be a teenager. Really? I thought that’s what tweens looked forward to. I’m scared. Oh. Well, why are you scared? Cause teenagers have bad judgment and do bad things. I don’t want to be […]

The Sex Talk Version 2.0

April 14, 2013

34

I wonder if it’s too late to have The Talk with my dad. We never really did have that talk, and I know he’s had sex at least 3 times, so it could be interesting to get his perspective on it all. I only say this, because when I was your age, son, I never […]

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