Browsing All posts tagged under »nursery rhymes«

Beware the vengeful squirrel

July 29, 2013


I get it: you’re scared to sleep in that room. First of all, son, they aren’t dead pet bunnies; they’re dead pet bunnies’ ashes. And the boxes are totally sealed. How evil could the ghosts of dead bunnies be, anyway? What’re they going to do, wiggle their little ghost-noses at you until you piss yourself with fear? […]

How Disney made me a liar

January 18, 2013


The floor under the seats of the local movie theater where I grew up was really quite remarkable. Decades of non-diet soda coated the concrete with a thick layer of sweet syrup. It was like flypaper that caught only popcorn and blobs of gum.  I know this because I spent a lot of time under […]

A fresh batch of favorite funny tweets

September 16, 2012


If you do the Twitter thing, you know that any given tweet lasts about 10 seconds before it disappears into the ether like a Jennifer Lopez movie. Every once in a while I gather up a bunch of tweets and give them a second life here on the blog because I just can’t bear to […]


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