Browsing All posts tagged under »girls«

I’m not dead yet

June 24, 2014

19

  OK, so it’s been a little while since I last posted. I know what you’re thinking but I’m not dead. If I were, I’d have all the time in the world to write posts (in between breaking rocks and applying burn cream—don’t know why, but I’ve always assumed I’d be heading south when I […]

What it means when a girl punches you in the face

November 30, 2012

21

OK, listen up, son. We don’t have a lot of time to deal with this. Your testicles are dangerously close to injecting copious amounts of testosterone into your blood stream and you’ve unfortunately got the girl sense that I had at your age. Which is to say you have none at all. Once that chemical gets […]

Girls on the left; boys on the right.

October 23, 2012

20

Son, you may remember me telling you that there are two kinds of kids in middle school: those that are miserable, and those that make them that way. I was both. In short, that’s because nobody else had to make me miserable; I did it just fine myself. And I didn’t even wait until middle […]

Hey son, admit it: you like her

November 6, 2011

52

Hey son, feel that? Weird, huh? I know what you’re thinking: It can’t be what you think it might be. NOBODY likes girls. Well, teenagers do, but that’s just gross. And as I recall, you intend to skip that whole phase (we’ll discuss the practicality of that later). OK, so if it’s not about girls, […]

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