You can call me Barmy
While I do blog anonymously, it seems a bit unfair that I get to call you by name (real or otherwise) and you all have to stumble around calling me things like, “Mr. My Parents” or “IBMP” or “You lousy, no good, sorry excuse for a parent”.
So I thought it would be a good idea to at least let you know who you’re talking to and give you a name you can use when we’re chatting here on the blog or when you’re whining about me to your friends.
My name is Barmy Rootstock. But you can call me Barmy. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: that’s not my real name. I know, right?
Now it should be much easier to personalize your remarks (e.g., “Barmy, you lousy, no good, sorry excuse for a parent.”), and that’s just way more civilized.
Why am I being anonymous?
Trust me, I’m a blogger, I want to be famous. I want to be “discovered” and have my blog turned into a global best-seller and quit my day job. I want my book to become a sitcom, then a movie, blah, blah, blah.
But not at the expense of my child.
I talk about things that are funny and meaningful to me and hopefully that others enjoy. I believe that the fact that the stories and ideas are real makes them honest, funny and more heartfelt. But I’m also well aware of the damage that can be caused when anything potentially embarrassing online can be linked to a specific child–now or in the future.
I have no problem creating laughs at my own expense and, while my folks have given this blog their blessing–anonymous or not, I’d probably still write it if they didn’t. But my son’s a different story.
My son knows about this blog. We talk about many of the posts; I let him read some. I ask his permission when he says something and I want to quote it. I have withheld posting things that made him uncomfortable. And I do everything I can to remain anonymous because kids can be cruel and no humor is worth exposing him to that.
Whether or not I identify myself (and therefore my son) will be his decision when he’s old enough to make it. In the mean time, I hope that readers are OK with a nameless, faceless blogger and understand the reasons for it.
If that’s just not good enough, feel free to contact me directly. Unless you’re a spammer, in which case, get lost; if I was that worried about the size of my penis, I’d have compensated with a Hummer a long time ago.
And yes, that is me in the lederhosen.
Now back to your regularly-scheduled blog posts…